Advice on relationships, love, and living well – from Dear Mishu, Advice Columnist
Candice: You are not weird, Having your own needs and preferences makes you YOU, not weird. You do you, and I am sure your hooman will understand…… My friends at @idogtify make beautiful tags that have messages on them – maybe you’re human would get you one of those? btw do you like hashtag #dogsinchairs ❓
Emily: Barking is fun! Barking is how we talk! Barking makes me feel powerful & scares away the bad guys! I love to bark! #bebold #beboldmishu …… ps/ When my hoomans want to tell me that a person or dog is friendly and I don’t need to bark, they tell me shhhh, It’s Ok and if I agree I don’t bark
Dear Skyler: Do you love yourself? Start there.
Dear Linda: So nice of you to ask! Almost every night I meet my puppy friends Onyx and Remy outside to play and even though they’re small they’re always happy to chase me. So – I’d say my neighbors are treating me great! How about yours?
Dear Pat: Sometimes people (or animals) are grumpy because they’re in distress, pain, or feeling stressed. The other day my human took me to meet a man. He was nice, but I really, really had to poop… so I kept barking at the man. After I did my business, I was a lot friendlier. Try to understand why these people are grumpy. Maybe you can help them and they’ll be nicer, or at least you won’t be as offended…. <3 Mishu
Lots of bad things have happened lately to my family and friends. Please tell me some happy things, Miranda asks, Mishu answers.
Dear Miranda: ??????? The world is beautiful. Bad things are also part of this beautiful life. The only way to go forward is to accept the bad-beautiful things and try to notice the good-beautiful things. Try a nature walk or a trip to the beach – it always helps! What do my friends think?
Dear Kelsey: Try to make friends. People have a hard time being disrespectful of their friends. ~ Mishu
The Inside Story
Imagine if your noisy neighbors were your friends? They would probably be a lot more considerate of you and your desire for less noise.
Instead of turning it into a conflict (which some people really get off on) – flip it! If you show kindness and friendliness to people who are doing you wrong, there is a very good chance that they will just see your humanity and respond with compassion and friendliness.
Yea, so people don’t like it when I knock them over on my because of my drive to be first… That goes for you humans too: it’s okay to compete and try to be first, but don’t knock anyone down on your way. #BeKind
The Inside Story
Dear Mishu is definitely an alpha — and you see that most on walks or hikes. If she’s not first, leading the way, #1 explorer, she’ll pull on the leash until whoever is holding it moves to the front.
I don’t know whether it’s her instinct to protect everyone or just her excitement to explore, but it is a habit that we haven’t really tried to break her of. Mostly because Mishu’s bold, free spirited love of life is what we admire about her so much. We want to be like Mishu because she is so excited to be first!
Finishing First – the Kind Way
We definitely do not encourage that behavior in Mishu!
The obvious parallel to humans is that so many of us do knock people over, or walk all over them, in our drive to finish first, win the promotion, etc. Clearly that is a good strategy for some in the short term, but in the long term — Mishu’s right — people do not like that. This is NOT what Mishu means by Now is Now!
There might be short term gain to be had from finishing first while ignoring human decency, kindness, and basic manners, but eventually people will figure out that this is your M.O. and they will not want to work with you anymore. Call it Karma, call it fate, call it getting your due: treating people like they’re expendable just because you are focused on yourself and your goals is never going to be a good strategy!
If you — like me — no longer have a mother or are not able to become one, #MothersDay can be tough. Big Hugs from Dear Mishu today. I’m going to spend today getting love from my adopted family. https://dearmishu.com/adopt-shelter-rescue-pet-dog/
It’s hard for me to focus when listening to other people. What should I do, Morgan asks, Mishu answers. #DearMishu
Me too! I often tune out when my humans are talking because I’m thinking about my own agenda (squirrels)…. Instead of thinking about your own agenda (what you’re going to say next), try to think about repeating what the person talking to you is saying.
I’m sorry your Dad is sick and it’s so hard. You are doing something beautiful by caring for your father. This is something to be very proud of. Set a reminder every day to remember this, and feel proud. Maybe it will give you the strength to carry on.
The Inside Story
Family trouble, especially an illness in the family can be very taxing. It can take a toll emotionally, physically, and financially. It can cause a lot of stress. This is especially the case when the illness is serious, lasts for a long time, prevents the sick person and even family members from working. That kind of thing is very hard for a family to deal with.
Mishu: My solution to everything is #FOCUS. FOCUS on your goals. FOCUS on what you need to do reach them. Do that, and don’t sweat the rest. Am I right?
The Inside Story
According to some studies, over 50% of people do not feel respected by their leaders or managers at work. It can be frustrating if you feel like your boss doesn’t respect you. It can also be humiliating, damage your self-esteem, and make you stressed. In fact, people cite not being respected as their biggest problem at work. What can you do about it if you feel like your boss doesn’t respect you?
I’m sorry you’re feeling bad. I think you should get involved in something amazing that you’ve always wanted to do. Be bold! You’ll feel excited, and proud of yourself, and gain confidence…. You’ll feel strong enough to handle whatever happens with your best friend…. And you’ll probably make some new friends too. (BTW, I recommend chasing squirrels for your new activity)
The Inside Story on Friendship Problems
The truth is, we can’t control other people. We can’t make them like us or want to hang out with us. And we can’t know what’s in their minds.