Relationships

Advice on relationships, love, and living well – from Dear Mishu, Advice Columnist

THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE instead of what you are lacking

THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE instead of what you are lacking

THINK ABOUT
WHAT YOU HAVE
instead of what you are lacking

~ DearMishu, Advice Column

How are your neighbors treating you, Linda asks, Mishu answers

How are your neighbors treating you, Linda asks, Mishu answers

Dear Linda: So nice of you to ask! Almost every night I meet my puppy friends Onyx and Remy outside to play and even though they’re small they’re always happy to chase me. So – I’d say my neighbors are treating me great! How about yours?

I’m sick of grumpy people around me. How can I make them be nicer, Pat asks, Mishu answers

I’m sick of grumpy people around me. How can I make them be nicer, Pat asks, Mishu answers

Dear Pat:  Sometimes people (or animals) are grumpy because they’re in distress, pain, or feeling stressed. The other day my human took me to meet a man. He was nice, but I really, really had to poop… so I kept barking at the man. After I did my business, I was a lot friendlier.  Try to understand why these people are grumpy. Maybe you can help them and they’ll be nicer, or at least you won’t be as offended…. <3 Mishu

Read more of Dear Mishu’s advice on how to turn an enemy into a friend read more

Lots of bad things have happened lately to my family and friends. Please tell me some happy things, Miranda asks, Mishu answers.

Lots of bad things have happened lately to my family and friends. Please tell me some happy things, Miranda asks, Mishu answers.

Dear Miranda: 🦋🐳🐬🌈🌞🌻😎 The world is beautiful. Bad things are also part of this beautiful life. The only way to go forward is to accept the bad-beautiful things and try to notice the good-beautiful things. Try a nature walk or a trip to the beach – it always helps!  What do my friends think?

Related posts: read more

What to do about noisy neighbors? Kelsey asks, Mishu answers

What to do about noisy neighbors? Kelsey asks, Mishu answers

Dear Kelsey: Try to make friends. People have a hard time being disrespectful of their friends. ~ Mishu

The Inside Story

Imagine if your noisy neighbors were your friends?  They would probably be a lot more considerate of you and your desire for less noise.

Instead of turning it into a conflict (which some people really get off on) – flip it! If you show kindness and friendliness to people who are doing you wrong, there is a very good chance that they will just see your humanity and respond with compassion and friendliness. read more

People don’t like it when you push them down on your way to be first. ~ Mishu

People don’t like it when you push them down on your way to be first. ~ Mishu

Yea, so people don’t like it when I knock them over on my because of my drive to be first…  That goes for you humans too: it’s okay to compete and try to be first, but don’t knock anyone down on your way.  #BeKind

The Inside Story

Dear Mishu is definitely an alpha — and you see that most on walks or hikes. If she’s not first, leading the way, #1 explorer, she’ll pull on the leash until whoever is holding it moves to the front.
I don’t know whether it’s her instinct to protect everyone or just her excitement to explore, but it is a habit that we haven’t really tried to break her of.  Mostly because Mishu’s bold, free spirited love of life is what we admire about her so much. We want to be like Mishu because she is so excited to be first!
Finishing First – the Kind Way
Still…

We definitely do not encourage that behavior in Mishu!
The obvious parallel to humans is that so many of us do knock people over, or walk all over them, in our drive to finish first, win the promotion, etc. Clearly that is a good strategy for some in the short term, but in the long term — Mishu’s right — people do not like that. This is NOT what Mishu means by Now is Now!
There might be short term gain to be had from finishing first while ignoring human decency, kindness, and basic manners, but eventually people will figure out that this is your M.O. and they will not want to work with you anymore. Call it Karma, call it fate, call it getting your due:  treating people like they’re expendable just because you are focused on yourself and your goals is never going to be a good strategy! read more

Mother’s Day Can Be Hard if you, like Dear Mishu, have lost your mother or can’t become one

Mother’s Day Can Be Hard if you, like Dear Mishu, have lost your mother or can’t become one

If you — like me — no longer have a mother or are not able to become one, #MothersDay can be tough. Big Hugs from Dear Mishu today.  I’m going to spend today getting love from my adopted family. https://dearmishu.com/adopt-shelter-rescue-pet-dog/

Related posts:

Mishu’s rescue group

Mishu on Love

Mishu on caring for family

It’s hard for me to focus when listening to other people. What should I do, Morgan asks, Mishu answers. #DearMishu

It’s hard for me to focus when listening to other people. What should I do, Morgan asks, Mishu answers. #DearMishu

Dear Morgan,
Me too! I often tune out when my humans are talking because I’m thinking about my own agenda (squirrels)…. Instead of thinking about your own agenda (what you’re going to say next), try to think about repeating what the person talking to you is saying.

Related posts:

Mishu on staying focused (on squirrels)

Mishu on how to stop wasting time

Mishu on staying motivated

My Dad has been sick for a while. Do you have any advice? Luna asks, Mishu answers

My Dad has been sick for a while. Do you have any advice? Luna asks, Mishu answers

Dear Luna,
I’m sorry your Dad is sick and it’s so hard. You are doing something beautiful by caring for your father. This is something to be very proud of. Set a reminder every day to remember this, and feel proud. Maybe it will give you the strength to carry on.

Love,
Mishu

The Inside Story

Family trouble, especially an illness in the family can be very taxing. It can take a toll emotionally, physically, and financially. It can cause a lot of stress. This is especially the case when the illness is serious, lasts for a long time, prevents the sick person and even family members from working. That kind of thing is very hard for a family to deal with. read more

I feel like my boss doesn’t respect me. What can I do? Lisa asks, Mishu answers.

I feel like my boss doesn’t respect me. What can I do? Lisa asks, Mishu answers.

Mishu: My solution to everything is #FOCUS. FOCUS on your goals. FOCUS on what you need to do reach them. Do that, and don’t sweat the rest. Am I right?

#DearMishu

The Inside Story

According to some studies, over 50% of people do not feel respected by their leaders or managers at work. It can be frustrating if you feel like your boss doesn’t respect you. It can also be humiliating, damage your self-esteem, and make you stressed.  In fact, people cite not being respected as their biggest problem at work. What can you do about it if you feel like your boss doesn’t respect you? read more

What to do about a friend who is abandoning me? Evie asks, Mishu answers.

What to do about a friend who is abandoning me? Evie asks, Mishu answers.

Dear Evie,

I’m sorry you’re feeling bad. I think you should get involved in something amazing that you’ve always wanted to do. Be bold! You’ll feel excited, and proud of yourself, and gain confidence….  You’ll feel strong enough to handle whatever happens with your best friend….  And you’ll probably make some new friends too.  (BTW, I recommend chasing squirrels for your new activity)

The Inside Story on Friendship Problems

The truth is, we can’t control other people. We can’t make them like us or want to hang out with us. And we can’t know what’s in their minds. read more

I always need to be in charge. Is that normal? Ella asks, Mishu answers. #DearMishu #control

I always need to be in charge. Is that normal? Ella asks, Mishu answers. #DearMishu #control

Dear Ella:

You should see me on #hikes — I can’t let anyone else go first, and sometimes I knock people over on my way to the front. Since I’m pretty sure people don’t like that, just don’t knock people over when you’re trying to be in charge. You know?  #DearMishu

Love,

Mishu

The Inside Story

Yes, Mishu really likes to be in charge. That just comes with the territory with an Type A personality / alpha female like Mishu.

And that’s totally fine. Being someone who likes to take charge makes you a leader. That means when there’s an emergency, or something at work that really needs to get done, you’re going to be the person making sure it gets done. Congratulations! read more

Do you have any dating advice for me? I’m a single 25 year old female. Taylor asks, Mishu answers. #Dating #DearMishu

Do you have any dating advice for me? I’m a single 25 year old female. Taylor asks, Mishu answers. #Dating #DearMishu

Dear Taylor:

I don’t really date, but I do get a lot of attention — and you KNOW I’m not worrying about what people think of me… I suggest just be real and be yourself, because that’s what people like best. #DearMishu #BeReal

Love,

Mishu

Check out more advice from Mishu on dating and relationships

And Mishu on Love

How do you deal with #heart break? Melissa asks, Mishu answers.  #DearMishu #hurt

How do you deal with #heart break? Melissa asks, Mishu answers. #DearMishu #hurt

Dear Melissa,

Are you the kind of person who likes to be alone when you’re hurt (I do). If so – it’s okay to cuddle in a ball, get under the covers, and eat a yummy #treat. It’s also helpful to go for a walk in the woods or at the #beach by yourself — see the #beautiful world, smell it, and try to feel the possibility of #renewal….. If being with others helps you #heal, then surround yourself with loved ones and do those things with them. ….Take care, Melissa… Love, Mishu #dearmishu read more

What is Love? Alex asks, Mishu answers. #DearMishu #Happy

What is Love? Alex asks, Mishu answers. #DearMishu #Happy

Dear Alex, #Love is making someone happy. Love is when someone makes you happy. Happy #Valentines Day!!! #valentineday

A post shared by 👓Dear Mishu ❤️ (@dearmishu) on

Dear Alex, Love is making someone happy.  Love is when someone makes you happy.  Happy Valentines Day!!
The Inside Story
Mishu’s response to “What is Love?”

Mishu’s response to Alex’s question was as simple as can possibly be: Love is making each other happy.

How did Mishu teach us this?  Mishu definitely makes her family members feel loved, and we can learn a lot about love from observing her behavior.

Some of the things she does to show love are: she greets her family members and friends at the door with enthusiasm and she waits to go to bed until everyone is at home and in bed. Another thing she does, which is amazing, is that whenever a family member is sick or depressed, Mishu comes and sits nearby them. read more

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