What to do about noisy neighbors? Kelsey asks, Mishu answers

What to do about noisy neighbors? Kelsey asks, Mishu answers

Dear Kelsey: Try to make friends. People have a hard time being disrespectful of their friends. ~ Mishu

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The Inside Story

Imagine if your noisy neighbors were your friends?  They would probably be a lot more considerate of you and your desire for less noise.

Instead of turning it into a conflict (which some people really get off on) – flip it! If you show kindness and friendliness to people who are doing you wrong, there is a very good chance that they will just see your humanity and respond with compassion and friendliness.

And if they are not the kind of people who respond to warmth with friendliness, it can still be an effective strategy. First, you deny them the “fun” of making you angry (which as I said, some people unfortunately seem to enjoy).  Second, they are more likely to see the wrong in what they are doing. Third, if they are really the suspicious type, they may get nervous, start wondering what you are up to, and adjust their behavior (maybe you’re crazy…?).

The Power of Friendship

But offering friendship is the key — it is more powerful than offering confrontation. If you actually, truly try to become their friends, you’ll get to know them better.

You might find out that they don’t realize how loud they are being or how much it bothers you. Or you might find out why they make so much noise and decide that you can tolerate a little bit more.  Both of you will be more likely to compromise and find a solution this way.

In general, people - like dogs - are more likely to get along and react with friendship when they don't feel attacked or cornered.Click To Tweet

People are more likely to compromise when they don’t feel like they are being criticized.

Try it, Kelsey! I’m very curious to see how it works for you!

Related posts:

Mishu’s advice on treating others with respect

Mishu’s advice for type A personalities

11 Comments

  1. This is the wisest advice I have ever heard! Truly Mishu – you are GENUIS!
    So much truth to this I had to tweet it!

  2. Great advice! Love solves everything. 🙂

  3. Such great advice, Mishu! More people should take this advice and be friendlier to each other.

  4. That is actually really great advice! It’s so easy to escalate an issue and be confrontational when we feel we’ve been wronged in some way. To turn around and be kind changes the “toxic dance”.

  5. raisingyourpetsnaturally - July 26, 2017 reply

    Great post. It’s always better to start with kind honesty. My dad always told me you get more with honey than vinegar. Something like that. 🙂

  6. This is a good strategy…if you can even talk to your neighbors. I live in a city where everyone keeps to themselves unless you literally bump into them. Kill them with kindness never hurt nobody, however if they are still being rude, inconsiderate don’t hesitate to make a phone call. Good luck!

  7. This is great advice! When a friend of mine moved into a new house, she went out of her way to be friendly, but not overbearing, to her neighbors despite being told that they were loud, rude, and unfriendly. She befriended them over time, and only mentioned the noise level in a casual and non accusing way. Now on the rare occasion that they are too loud late at night, she just asks them to lower the volume and they comply with a sincere apology.

  8. Great advice. However, even friends will shoot off those annoying fireworks on New Year’s Eve and the 4th of July!

  9. You are so wise, Mishu. Indeed, it’s a better idea to make a friend than it is to make an enemy. I’ve experienced this first-hand. Great advice! Thank you.

  10. Great advice, Mishu! I do believe you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar! Hmmm…I do think I’d like some peanut butter with my honey, though. I love peanut butter!

  11. Definitely good advice. People don’t want to be mean to someone they call Friend. However, some people are just idiots – decide which one your neighbor is!
    Love & Biscuits,
    Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them

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