Dear Kelsey: Try to make friends. People have a hard time being disrespectful of their friends. ~ Mishu

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The Inside Story

Imagine if your noisy neighbors were your friends?  They would probably be a lot more considerate of you and your desire for less noise.

Instead of turning it into a conflict (which some people really get off on) – flip it! If you show kindness and friendliness to people who are doing you wrong, there is a very good chance that they will just see your humanity and respond with compassion and friendliness.

And if they are not the kind of people who respond to warmth with friendliness, it can still be an effective strategy. First, you deny them the “fun” of making you angry (which as I said, some people unfortunately seem to enjoy).  Second, they are more likely to see the wrong in what they are doing. Third, if they are really the suspicious type, they may get nervous, start wondering what you are up to, and adjust their behavior (maybe you’re crazy…?).

The Power of Friendship

But offering friendship is the key — it is more powerful than offering confrontation. If you actually, truly try to become their friends, you’ll get to know them better.

You might find out that they don’t realize how loud they are being or how much it bothers you. Or you might find out why they make so much noise and decide that you can tolerate a little bit more.  Both of you will be more likely to compromise and find a solution this way.

READ:   People don't like it when you push them down on your way to be first. ~ Mishu
In general, people - like dogs - are more likely to get along and react with friendship when they don't feel attacked or cornered.Click To Tweet

People are more likely to compromise when they don’t feel like they are being criticized.

Try it, Kelsey! I’m very curious to see how it works for you!

Related posts:

Mishu’s advice on treating others with respect

Mishu’s advice for type A personalities

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